Thursday, July 10, 2008

MOR-TI-FYING!


MOR-TI-FYING! I tell you girls, it is!


So I'm not a BIP (Breastfeeder In Public), but I don't judge those who do. I am really not discreet and neither is my son. For one, I don't know how to get him on the nozzle without showing everyone else my business. Two, my child makes all kinds of noises while he breastfeeds. Lastly, he is a wiggler and will wiggle right off exposing me for all to see.


I have known professional BIPers. Including this woman in church this last Sunday who straight up successfully pulled off a BIP during the sermon. Noone would have know, seriously. The only reason I knew was because I am a BM (Breastfeeding Mother).


This is relevant just to give you an idea that this part of my daily routine is rather private. On occasion of necessity I do pump, but this is not for enertainment or discussion...just necessity. Mind you, I have NEVER done this in front of anyone else, including my husband. We would rather him not to have that kind of visual of the "girls." We're trying to keep it sexy or as much as possible all things considering.


So yesterday the little man was not as hungry as usual, so I thought to myself, "self, its a good time to store up." I closed the door, put the man on the floor to play in his room, and then both girls went to work.


At that point, Regina, who works at the ranch, WALKS INTO ISAAC'S ROOM! First off, it was hard to hear her walk in because you know the loud noise those machines make. Then, once she was in my presence, I was so shocked I didn't move. She says, "Ohh!" and then proceeds to tell me in her best spanglish how good that is for the baby. Then, she comes NEARER to check out the pump. She also told me how she breastfed her oldest son until he was three. He would go out to play and then come in and lift up her shirt. He would say, "mommy milk." Can this wait until I am not chestly exposed...?


I know you are thinking, why in the world did you not unload yourself from that machine rather than letting Regina see the girls in their milking glory!?! I DO NOT KNOW!


I was just mortified.
So now I'm officially a PIPer (pumper in public).

4 comments:

Nicole said...

Well I will tell you why you didn't unload...bc then she would have seen the girls dripping with milk and all stretched out! Good call to leave them in there. I am LAUGHING out loud and oh...the visuals! I would have paid big bucks to see your face!! Tears are coming...I needed a good laugh today! I remember hearing that pump talk to me in my sleepless delirium! It would say "fighting a war"-the "waahr" was long and stretched out! I would hear it over and over. Ahhh..dont miss those days but I do miss you!! I love you you cool mom, PIPer!

The Durham's said...

OKAYYYYY...that was awkward, my friend:) It's been a few years since I had a baby, but I'm guessing a woman pumping is a silent invite to pull up a chair and have a chat...good to know:):) You are hilarious, and I agree with Nicole, the messiness of the unload would have been worse! Might try the good ol' "un momento, por favor, senorita" next time:) Love ya!

Jen Sprayberry said...

You can't just unload, especially when the milk is flowing. You just have to keep going. Great stuff! I too am laughing out loud. Has Nicole told you the story about her pump telling her things in the middle of the night? I think it used to say, "fight the war, fight the war" Mine had some good things to say too. Listen closer to the pump, it may have something important to say like, "lock the door, lock the door". Love you friend!

Michawn said...

hilarious. and yes...i remember the "fighting a war" thing. i remembered it the few times i have pumped and thought to myself...hmm, nicole is right...it does say that. :) so very funny.

you would be mortified around here. ladies just walking around completely uncovered, carrying their suckling tots in their arms. i am totally and completely not a modest girl by nature, so i think it's awesome. but, yeah...God knew what He was doing in sending me here instead of you i guess.

you look GREAT by the way!!