Meet Isabel

This is our family on Easter (all four of us) and I'm 9 1/2 weeks.

Joe and I really had the baby itch when Isaac was barely four months old. Every day with him has been such a joy and a gift, how could you not want more?



In November, we finally got the guts up to start "trying." Considering we do natural family planning, most people say that we are doing that anyways, but we had even more fun...



Then at the beginning of March, we found out we were expecting! We have been so excited. Looking forward to a new addition to our little family. Ecstatic for our sweet baby, Isaac, to be a big brother.



When I was pregnant with Isaac, I just knew it was a boy. No one in this world could have convinced me otherwise. This time, we know like we know that a baby girl would be growing in my tummy. Throughout Pink Impact, I imagined how sweet it would be to have her in my arms next year and couldn't wait to have our own little women's ministry at the Ranch (cowgirl style). As much as we know she's a girl, we know her name would be Isabel. Isabel meaning "consecrated to God." I saw her in my imagination with dark brown hair (like mine is naturally :) and this cute little bob dancing in the wind as she twirled in circles.



I voraciously read every pregnancy book on my shelf like it was my first baby all over again. I get my little baby center updates on my blackberry and I desperately couldn't wait for November 11, 2009 when she was due to arrive.



Yet deep in my heart, I knew something wasn't right.



This last Sunday I started bleeding. I do not believe that it began on Easter day as an accident. Jesus Christ conquered the grave and I believe there is no miracle that is too difficult for him.



Monday, Isaac had a pediatrician appointment already scheduled in The Woodlands so I called to see if I could get in to see my nurse. She had me come in immediately and she put the sonogram wand on my stomach and there she was...in all of her glory. I could see her sweet head and her arms moving around. A gift from God.



Then, that evening the bleeding started again. On Tuesday it got worse. Tuesday night Joe insisted that we go to the ER in Bryan. We had to wait an excruciatingly long time to be taken back. God sent the sweetest angel to take my blood and she said she would be praying for me. I told Joseph that I wish that God would send "the angel blood lady back because I really liked her." Just a little later, here she comes walking through the door, because "there was one that they forgot to order." He cares even for the little things.



Then, this older gentleman in his 50s came to wheel me back to the sonogram room. We were making small talk as he prepared everything. He said that he couldn't give me my results in the room, that the doctor had to do that, but if he saw a perfectly healthy baby he would let me know. At that point, he put the wand on my stomach and his face turned very somber. I knew. I asked if he saw my baby and he shook his head. Isabel is in heaven. I know she is in heaven, but I really wanted her to be growing in my tummy. The sonogram man was very gracious, but I really just wanted to crumple up in a ball. I wanted to be alone....



They made me wait there for another 45 minutes to have the doctor confirm what the sonogram man's face said, what my bleeding indicated, what my blood work showed, and the images from the sonogram.



We arrived home a little before four a.m. and Joe held me and prayed I would be able to sleep. I am married to hands down the single most amazing man. He took the day off yesterday so we could have a family day. He has given me so much grace, served so selflessly, and loved so unconditionally. I know she would have been a daddy's girl.



Thank you for praying for us and we are so grateful for your prayers. We know life begins at conception so we are planning to have a little service for her, so I will be sure to take pictures because we would love for you to celebrate her 10 week old life with us.

James 1:12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." God, please help me, so that may be true of me.

Anna sent me this song today. I had never really listened to the words and it blessed me so much. Will you listen to the words?