Last night as I lay in bed preparing to meet with the specialist today, I was reminded of how faithful God has been through this journey. We have encountered our share of trails and tests beginning last spring.
All pregnancy long, I have just sensed in my heart God asking, "Do you trust Me?" Not based on circumstances, what the doctors say, or especially what your emotions say. "Do you trust ME?"
We received some questionable news last Wednesday and I was really disappointed. What I wanted to say was, "Are you kidding me?" Of the 15 or so appointments I have had with my OB for this pregnancy, there have only been 1, maybe 2, that there was not some red flag, concern or problem. When we met with the doctor about their concerns, she just painted a picture that I had not painted for our little girl or her arrival.
On Thursday morning, something broke...something in me changed. I had a Daniel moment. I came to a place where even if things don't turn out how "I" had hoped, the enemy could not steal my joy and my peace along with it. Either way, we have been fighting for her and we aren't going to stop any time soon.
Several people have asked me if I had heard Watermark's song, "Elliana's Song" (They spelled their little girl's name differently than ours). I don't know how I missed that song. I have been a fan since back in 1998 when they lead worship at the Metro Bible Study in downtown Houston. I do believe that a few years ago when they dissolved "Watermark" I shed a tear but was so overjoyed when she released her solo album this last year.
You should listen.
Last night as I listened, I surrendered her afresh to God, who is much better at taking care of her than I am.
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption." Psalm 130:5-7
Today, we got wonderful news from every side from the neonatal specialist so now we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little fighter. (Above picture is from my sono from last week of her face and she is sucking on her arm)